Gallows Humor Recap 12/23/2012 Thursday 8pm Vlad the Retailers
Gallows Humor runs on the last Thursdays of every month at Vlad the Retailers 4270 Melrose in Hollywood
Gallows Humor is probably the only comedy show in LA located inside of a clothing store. No coincidence that it attracts a fashionable crowd. The show is produced by two all-around cool chicks, Kira Hesser and Britanny Fields. Kira hosted and opened her set by talking about the giant moth circling the light and how most of her nightmares involve insects. She talked about why her sisters have eating disorders and why she’s a fast talker. Then she brought up the night’s first comic, Nick Turner.
Nick started his set by accidentally touching his tongue to the microphone, putting on sunglasses and talking about his awkward introduction. He talked about the consequences of trying to jump a bush on a park trail, and that boo-boos warrant painkillers, and asked everyone in the audience for their painkillers. He told a story about missing his train and taking his frustration out on a trashcan which dislocated his toe and cost him $3000 at the hospital. He then read some possible letters he wrote to the hospital telling them why he would never pay his bill.
Kira came on after NIck and talked about Valentine’s Day and showering, then brought on Chris Caniglia. Chris talked about that trope in movies where the girl looks unattractive until she takes off her glasses. He discussed not having kids, his wife trying to trick him into having babies and “The World’s Most Selfish Dad” coffee mug he would receive. Chris confessed that sometimes he looks at porno on the internet and equated male ejaculate to a moving fist. Chris closed talking about how black people are never attacked by bears.
Kira riffed on Chris’ set and said that when guys come in your face they aren’t aiming correctly before she brought up Eddie Pepitone.
Eddie talked a little about his jacket which was bright yellow and orange with patches of the Buddha all over it. He talked about how he meditates before he gets on Twitter, and about our fragmented consciousness and the coming apocalyptic wasteland. He spoke about how the valet’s are the only even-keeled people in Hollywood. I made notes that he talked about outdoor dentistry and eating cucumber and lemon sandwiches and how that relates to Beverly Hills being soulless. He thinks that in the future we will invite people over to our homes only to watch a 30 second youtube clip before shooing them away. Pepitone closed his set doing an impression of Billy Crystal singing songs at the Oscars and another impression of a lounge singer who experiences Vietnam flashbacks.
Kira reintroduced herself and told a story about how masturbation with a vibrator is illegal in China before bringing on Britanny Fields who promptly told everyone that she had to pee. She sang a song:”It’s a New Dawn, It’s a New Space” about the show taking place in a new location. Then told some stories about the people she met at the Tarzana Treatment Center. She told us about a man she was in love with named Jorge (pronounced George) and his snake tongue. She closed with material about how talking to guys her own age is awkward.
The next performer was Hampton Yount who began his set with a bit about how Soulja Boy theorizes that JFK killed himself. He moved from there into material about how there is no soft-core child pornography. Hampton talked about how vampires are sexy and the Wolfman in the “Wolfman” movies only ever strangles people. He talked about a documentary about Detroit and raising a kid to be Jewish just for shits and giggles. He talked about Make-A-Wish employees being good at pretending they’re deaf. He equated abortion doctors to Lucille Ball in a chocolate factory and closed his set by talking about robot armageddon.
Lee Keeler was the next comic, he also happened to be the DJ for the evening and his set started with a bang when a few metal rods fell from a shelf to the side of stage and landed on some unoccupied chairs. He told us we were all being punked. He roasted the owner of the clothing store saying the place looked like a Batcave for the Hardy Boys. He talked about taking his wife to a karaoke bar on Valentine’s Day and closed with an impression of Tom Waits forgetting the classics.
Brittany fields brought out the next comic, Gabe Delahaye. He talked about being from New York City and how stereotypical it is of him to have a bit about bagels. He discussed Eminem’s decline from normalcy and how no one tells you that “The Secret” basically blames Jewish people for the Holocaust. He talked about having a barber as a life coach, it always being 4am when you’re single, and how much him and his dad love Ryan Gosling.
The last comic of the evening was Guy Branum who opened his set talking about Mexican Episcopal churches and uppity farm-workers. He wondered if this entire comedy show was taking place on the set of “The New Girl”, then transitioned into material about Zooey Deschanel getting an old-timey abortion. He did two Grammy jokes, that turned out to be Adele jokes, that turned out to be fat jokes. He talked a lot about centaurs and their relation to Nikki Minaj. He told a story about an awkward ride home with an intern who’s mom was raped by gorillas. He riffed on Chris Coniglia’s set and equated truth to beauty. He closed his set by wondering why black people haven’t killed white people in their sleep.
Kira and Brittany came up and thanked everyone for coming, everyone who performed and Donny Pepper for cooking up some tasty grilled cheese sandwiches.
You can follow all these performers on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/#!/itsmenickyt (Nick Turner)